What's up? My name is Bradley, but that's too long so just call me Brad. I'm a dude. I play with fire but I ain't no arsonist either. Anyway, if you want to talk just wave your hands in the air and I'll come by you.
I won’t lie, that’s a little pervy on your part, but I won’t go screaming anything at the top of my lungs unless you try any funny business. Are you a perv? But sure, why not. Let’s go skiing. Oh a trip, yeah? Where to? If you don’t mind my asking that is. Thanks, I s’pose. Good to meet you as well.
Guess I should’ve worded it better, huh? Nah, no pervation going on around here. I was just saying, if you really wanted to ski, I’m like a human space heater. London.
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? WHAT THE HELL GOES BOING? Purple? Bitch be stylin’ and profilin’! Dude, she is fucking pimp, yo! I wanna dance in a conga line! How do bullets not hurt you? Then why’d you say you’d ask me for some? Sam Adams is fucking gross. Get something good like some Jack Daniels or something else as awesome.
WHAT TYPE OF QUESTION IS THAT!? DIDN’T YOU WATCH CARTOONS WHEN YOU WERE A KID!? ALMOST EVERYTHING WENT BOING! Yeah! Just like Snoop Dog in Starsky and Hutch. All she needs is a cane. OR A STAFF WITH A GOLD HEAD! Oh shit! That’s actually a good idea, this place is boring me anyhow so why not bust on the dining area, play Ass and Titties and just conga and pull everyone out of their seat. Cause I can? Psh, either that or a Bud, works for me. Alright, Jack it is!
Not a whole lot here and there. I’m looking to get knee-deep in snow soon and ski, but it can wait because I feel like it would be too cold for me now. And yourself? Nice to meet you Brad, I’m Celia.
How badly do you want it? Cause I can warm you up if you want. And no, not trying to be a perv here too cause Lord knows someone is already screaming it at the top of their lungs. Just got back from a trip and decided to come along and have fun with everyone. Celia. Nice name. Good to meet you.
DUDE, STOP STARING AT MY VAGINA! I HAVE A CLITORIS, OKAY? WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT CAMEL TOES? YOU DIRTY FUCK! Was it all permy and shit? Blue? I hear old ladies dye their hair blue for whatever fucking reason. THOSE HATS ARE COOL, I WANT LIKE, FIFTY! I mean, I can totally get you some because I am awesome and shit. But I had a lot of booze. Booooze.
DUDE YOU STARTED IT! DON’T BLAME SHIT ON ME! A bit yeah, like when you run a finger through it you’ll hear it go ‘BOING!’ What? Psh, it was purple. She lives on the wild side. Last time I heard, she danced with The Tempations and shit and had a congo line when Copa Cabana started. FUCK YEAH! Man, if it wasn’t for the guns I would steal them. Maybe I should’ve since bullets don’t really hurt me. Nah, I’m good. Jet lag is making me high anyway so woo! You do? Got some Samuel Adams in there?
Oh, look. Signs of life.
What’s up? I’m Brad.
DID YOU JUST LOOK AT MY PRIVATE PARTS? YOU BIG PERVERT! OH MY GOD, I AM TELLING THE WORLD! I totally can have a camel toe, but I don’t want to have a reverse wedgie. Wait, you met the queen? SERIOUSLY? Dude, you had a birthday? When? I am so not high.
YOUR FAULT YOU MADE ME LOOK! BESIDES, WHAT’S IN THERE!? SERIOUSLY!? A ROLL OF QUARTERS!? YOU WANT TO TELL THE WORLD THAT YOU HAVE A PENIS!? Camel toes are like an open peak for what you’re gonna get cause it’s just right… there. I WISH! I saw her the back of her head though. And then she was covered by those guards who have fucking afros for hats. You’re not!? Damn, I was gonna ask for some!
Finally making it to the lodge when no one is around would be just my luck.
Try looking around more, babe.
I could be soooo lame and say the sky, but I don’t wanna. I could also say my dick, but I don’t have one. Oh my god, how are you? I am like, I don’t even know, what am I talking about again?
You sure you don’t have a dick? Cause I don’t know if it’s just me but there’s a tent just right where a camel toe should be in. I’m great! Just got back from London to meet the Queen and shit and now I’m here! How are you!? You high!? You were talking about how you forgot to give me shit for my birthday.
HEY I KNOW YOU!
No shit! Hahaha! What’s up, Pops?
Hope I didn’t miss out on a lot. What’s up, Elysium?
